Just Don't Ask
by Darkmoonphase
Summary: Arthur gets upset at Francis and Antonio but his spell backfires. Sometimes, it's just better if you don't ask. crack


**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Hetalia**_**. It's all Hidekaz Himaruya here. I just got this random idea from a conversation I had with a friend. And my aquatic animals...**

**Author's notes: **_If you want to know where I got all these names and you don't know who is who, this is where I referenced: http: / hetalia. shoutwiki. com/ wiki/ Hetalia _ Archives Just remember to take out spaces. ;D So if any of the names are wrong, you can blame me for trusting the site. I won't feel bad.

* * *

_

"I... Why?" Arthur muttered, looking at one of his hands. Except it wasn't a hand anymore. It was a flipper. He was a frog. And it really hurt to breathe.

"Why the heck didn't you do this near water? I'm going to _die, _you jerk!" Lovino screamed, flopping helplessly around. Oh, how had he turned into a fish? They were supposed to be frogs. Frogs that could breathe, granted. And Arthur wasn't supposed to be one! "You're so _stupid_, Iggy! What the _heck is_ wrong with you?"

Arthur exhaled loudly. "You think this was _supposed _to happen?"

Francis flailed unhappily. "Well, you _were _trying to turn us into frogs to begin with..."

"There was a very good reason for that!" Arthur cried in defense. Suddenly, the ground shook and they all froze, still gasping pointlessly for air they couldn't breathe.

"Oh my goodness!" Feliciano shrieked and Lovino swore. "You poor little water animals! I'll be right back!"

"Great..." Lovino mumbled, resuming his flopping when he remembered that he couldn't breathe and he'd wasted precious breath.

Feliciano came back and set a giant cup of water down by Arthur's head. He gaped at it, surprised. Then the Italian proceeded to pick up Antonio and Lovino. When they were swimming semi-satisfyingly in the water, he reached for Tino and Berwald and then he and Francis. "Well, this is just great," Francis hissed, sighing heavily.

"At least we can breathe again!" Tino piped up cheerfully - as per usual. While Francis and Lovino glared him down, he ignored him. Berwald and Tino, he hadn't meant to turn into anything. They'd just been passing by. Lovino had just happened to be with Antonio. Antonio and Francis however...

"What exactly did I do again?" Antonio whispered, as if afraid of the answer. He was having issues staying in one spot and not upside down.

"This isn't good if my _brother_ is taking care of us!" Lovino screamed, seeming to be in a slight panic. "This isn't good at all..."

"Oh, would you all shut-up! I can't hear myself think!" Arthur cried angrily, frustrated with their situation. The cup suddenly got a little darker and they all looked up to see that Feliciano had picked it up and was now walking down the street.

He peered into the cup curiously. "I wonder how you guys got there? I mean, off to the side of the road! Hmm..." He glanced to his right at the gas station he was standing in front of. "Isn't that Iggy's car? I wonder where he went." Then he shook his head. "I hope that Heracles is in today! I'll need a tank and fish food and..." As he started ticking off the things he'd need, all the little aquatic pets stared at each other in horror. Lovino was right - this wasn't a good idea. They could all see that as Feliciano bounced down the street and they all propped up against each other to keep from dying.

"This is going to be a very long... When does this wear off?" Antonio inquired, adverting his eyes as he pressed himself up against Tino; Berwald was glaring at him, he could feel it.

"Um...I'm not sure. I accidentally dropped my wand when I collapsed after I realized I couldn't breathe..." Arthur admitted, frowning. "So, unless this wears off on its own, I'm not sure it will..."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU PSYCHO FREAK!" Lovino screeched, wishing more than anything that he wasn't stuck trying to save his life so he could use his new fins to attack Arthur's face. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" He went on and on but Arthur tuned him out.

Francis sighed. "This is going to be a pain..."

"Hello, Heracles! Look what I found! The poor things were stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no water! Can you believe it?" Feliciano cried and they all turned their attention to Heracles as their cup was set down in front of him.

Heracles peered into the cup curiously. "African dwarf frogs and...goldfish...?" He frowned as he studied their position. Suddenly realizing how odd they must look, they all untangled themselves and Antonio made a show of taking up most of the water doing pointless flips and spinning in a tight circle. "Well...You're going to need a pretty big tank if you plan to keep them."

"I want to so badly!" Feliciano confirmed happily. "I'll take what I need and I'll be very good about taking care of them."

This seemed to make Heracles think of something because he stood up and looked at him. "They won't eat human food."

Feliciano frowned. "They won't?"

"They can't digest it..."

"Oh, okay. I'll remember that!"

"No, he won't..." Lovino grumbled unhappily. "This sucks."

"Okay, so the things you'll need to know about the frogs is that...well, I don't think you have any females but that might not matter in the end..." Heracles made a face but pressed on. "They chirp when they want to mate. And their food sinks whereas the fish food floats. And the frogs won't get much bigger than they already are. The fish are sensitive so you can't bounce them around. And...well, I can't think of much else. I'll show you how the filter works and how to clean the tank when it needs it. Generally, you only need to do a partial water change once every two to three weeks and clean it every month or so. It's not hard. Follow me."

They wandered off, leaving the aquatic animals to digest the information they had just heard. "You guys chirp?" Antonio asked curiously, looking down at the four frogs at the bottom of the cup. Arthur was trying to keep a good distance from Francis while Berwald settled down next to Tino who seemed slightly uncomfortable with the situation.

Francis looked mischievously at Arthur and chirped obnoxiously. It sounded almost like a soft buzzing sound. "Don't do that. I know what it means," Arthur deadpanned, not amused.

"No, you don't," Francis declared happily, swimming a little closer. Arthur glared at him, daring him to come closer so he could attack him. Francis chirped some more and Lovino burst out laughing.

"FRANCIS!" Arthur screamed, treading the water insanely with his back flippers and covering his ears with his front. "Stop it! I refuse! I do not consent!" This caused Lovino to laugh even harder and accidentally swim into the glass.

"Ouch..." he mumbled, swimming backwards away from the glass."That's evil, dang it. That...That's tricky!"

Berwald, who had been completely silent, finally said, "This isn't happy..."

"_You think?_" Lovino shouted irritably. He was making a face that said his nose hurt from hitting the glass. "Heracles needs to hurry up and get a bigger tank for us already. This is stupid. I can't stand this."

"What do you think Feliciano would do if we all suddenly changed back into humans and broke the tank in the middle of the night? If we were naked too? Oh, Ludwig probably wouldn't be happy..." Tino piped up randomly, causing everyone else in the glass to stare at him.

"You're stupid. I hate you," Lovino finally said and swam over to Antonio, obviously pouting.

"I think that's everything..." Heracles was saying as he and Feliciano walked back over. He glanced down at the fish who were all staring up at him awkwardly. "So...Let me put these guys in a bag - I'm pretty sure they'd be more comfortable there." He quickly did this and the frogs sank to the bottom of the bag unhappily. Antonio resumed his swimming in circles happily while Lovino glared at him, a safe distance away. "Alright. Well, good luck, Feliciano." Heracles looked concernedly at Antonio.

"DON'T BOUNCE THE BAG OR MY BRAINS WILL SCRAMBLE, FELICIANO!" Lovino screamed angrily as Feliciano attempted to balance all his purchased items and the fish-bag.

"All he sees is bubbles..." Arthur mused dejectedly.

* * *

"Ludwig will be proud!" Feliciano said decisively as he set the fish bag into the water. Lovino stared sadly at the water outside the plastic. "Sorry, fishies. But Heracles said to keep you in your bag for two hours so you can adjust. I'll be back at four! I'm going to go tell Ludwig!" He skipped off happily, leaving his new aquatic animals to pout.

"And I was so hoping to get a little more room..." Lovino sighed, staring at the bottom of the tank. "Why are the rocks_ pink_?"

Francis snickered. "Feliks would like that..."

"Ugh, we're not going to talk about Feliks, okay?" Arthur grumbled, not even wanting to consider the headache that was surely waiting to attack. "This is a pain. Two more _hours _before I can sort of get away from you guys. Oh..." That's when it occurred to him. There was no such thing as personal space in the tank. "Oh, no..." he whispered, petrified. He would have to listen to them for who knew how long while he waited to turn back to a human.

"So you finally got it?" Lovino asked, amused. "There's no way to escape us now, Iggy!" He laughed, almost demonically, and Arthur groaned, putting his front flippers over his head.

"Lovi~!" Antonio whined, almost immediately catching his attention.

"Sucker," Francis hissed happily.

Lovino spun and head-butted him hard. "SHUT-UP!"

Francis rubbed his head as the Italian swam back to the Spaniard. "Ouch..."

"You don't mess with Lovino," Arthur reminded him smugly. Then he let himself sink down and swam toward the back of the bag. "Wake me when the two hours are up."

"We'll let Feliciano," Francis retorted.

* * *

Lovino was right about the tank being bigger. Arthur could sit on one side and there were several inches (maybe a foot; it felt like half a mile) between him and Francis. There was a rock arch that Berwald took shelter under. Tino was having a blast just swimming to the top and then diving back down. Antonio pretty much swam laps around the tank while Lovino either stared longingly out of the glass or moodily at his boyfriend.

"You _found _them?" Ludwig asked tentatively. Feliciano nodded enthusiastically and told his story. The German just stared at the aquatic animals. "What's wrong with that frog right there? And that fish?"

"They're happy!" Feliciano explained with a smile.

"I see..." Ludwig muttered but he still looked concerned. "That one under the rock worries me."

Feliciano peered into the tank. "Why?"

Ludwig looked perplexed. "He's...scary..."

Feliciano just laughed. "No, he's not! He's the guardian of the tank!" He tapped the glass, startling Tino, Lovino, and Antonio. Tino sank rapidly and slipped under the rock beside Berwald who slung an arm around him protectively. Lovino stared out the glass while Antonio swam in a panicked circle. "They're adorable."

Arthur laughed harshly. "I can't what to see what you think when we turn back!"

"_Oui..._" Francis muttered blandly.

* * *

"Stop it, Francis!" Arthur screamed. "I already told you no!" But Francis continued to chirp, slowly bringing himself closer to the Englishman. "Augh!"

"Would you two shut-up?" Lovino cried. His voice was a mix of fear, anxiety, and irritation. Something told Arthur that he was not so fond of the dark. "Francis, stop trying to rape Arthur. Arthur, stop screaming. Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"Like me," Berwald muttered grumpily. The tank went silent. "Good night."

A light came on and everyone in the tank groaned. Feliciano wandered in and sat down heavily on his bed. He looked worriedly at the tank. "He's not back. And neither is Antonio." The aquatic animals all looked at him, realizing that he was talking about Lovino. He sighed. "I wonder where they went..." He looked depressed as he got up and peeled off his shirt in pants so he was standing in his boxers and tank top. "Gutpa said that Arthur never came back to his car. I hope he's okay, too..." The light went out and he crawled into bed. "Night, fish. Night, frogs."

"I'm right here, you brat!" Lovino cried almost despairingly as he looked at his brother through the glass. "Dang..."

After several tense minutes, Tino asked, "Can we sleep now?" Immediately afterward, Francis started chirping again.

"NO, DANG IT!" Arthur shouted.

"SHUT-UP!" Berwald cried, scaring everyone into silence.

* * *

"Okay, seriously! It's been a week! I'm BORED!" Lovino whined, swimming back and forth across the tank. "How do fish _live _like this? There's _nothing _to do!"

"I disagree," Francis said, perching himself on top of the arch. "Torturing Arthur has never been so much _fun. _Nor has it been so easy..." Arthur glared at him.

"Nah, I'm with Lovino," Tino sighed, pressing a flipper against the glass. "I'm so bored..."

"Let's play tag!" Antonio cried enthusiastically and before anyone could say anything, he pressed his nose against Arthur's side. "TAG, Arthur's it!"

Immediately afterward, everyone swam to the opposite side of the tank. "What? But I...!" He frowned unhappily then grinned and charged toward the crowd. Tino and Antonio screamed cheerfully and scattered. Berwald stared at him. He got inches from him and then hit the glass hard when Berwald shot upward. "What was that for?"

"Because I could..." he answered simply. Lovino laughed loudly. Until Arthur smashed a flipper into his face.

"OUCH!" he screamed and dove for Francis who cried out and let him land in the rocks. "This sucks..." He tried again, swimming straight at Tino. He jumped up but Antonio, who hadn't been paying attention, got hit instead. They both hit the rocks, causing a splash of pink to fly upward. "Hello," he whispered.

"Don't make me tag you - you never said I couldn't," Antonio answered happily. Lovino swam away quickly.

Antonio jumped up and hit Tino before he could move. "You're it!"

Tino casually touched Francis atop his head and swam off. Francis chased Berwald for awhile, switched to Arthur and ended up jumping up behind Antonio, ready for a surprise attack. Suddenly, Feliciano, Ludwig, and Alfred walked in and they all froze - except Lovino who was oblivious and continued to swim in circles behind the others, shouting, "Guys, guys! Do you think they saw us?" Berwald dropped onto Tino while Arthur cowered under Antonio.

"Your fish were playing tag," Alfred whispered, pointing at the tank with awe.

"No, they weren't," Ludwig scoffed, shaking his head. "Fish and frogs don't have personalities. And goldfish have the memory of one second." Everyone in the tank turned to look at Lovino with understanding expressions.

"They so were!" Alfred cried, startling the aquatic animals into looking at them again. "Right, Feliciano? You saw it?"

Feliciano looked at the animals. "Well, that one _does _look like he's going to attack the fish..."

"Haven't you named them yet?" Alfred asked, sounding surprised.

"No..." the Italian replied, looking up at him. "Should I?"

"Sure, you should!"

"No, you shouldn't..." Arthur muttered, pouting.

"You're not his mom right now as you're a frog and he's a human," Lovino explained snootily as he swam over to see what the fuss was about. "So it's no use trying to lecture him."

"I know that!" Arthur hissed, smacking the Italian angrily.

"Ouch..."

"Normal frogs don't do that!" Tino reminded them hastily, worried.

"Oh yeah..." Arthur mused, settling down.

"We're not normal aquatic pets, don't you agree?" Lovino asked bitterly.

"They're talking to each other..." Alfred said, seeming horrified and amazed at once.

They all shut up and stared at them as blankly as they could while trying not to laugh. They were amused because Ludwig was calling him crazy and Feliciano was trying to defuse the situation by explaining that they weren't talking but it kind of looked like it. "Okay... Well, I won't name them right now. You can help me think of names later, okay, Alfred?"

Alfred glanced back at the tank, untrusting. "Yeah, okay..." Then he looked at the others. "Your new pets are great and all but have you seen my mom?"

They both shook their heads. "No, sorry," Ludwig replied. "I wish my _bruder _would disappear though..."

"Matthew says that Dad's gone too..." Alfred mused.

"Did they run off together?" Feliciano asked, sort of sounding happy and concerned at once.

"WHAT?" Francis and Arthur cried at once. "Never, never, never, never again..." Arthur whispered, shaking his head rapidly. Francis looked kind of sick.

"I doubt it. They argue too much," Alfred replied after a slight moment of consideration in which his parents gaped at him. "And anyway, Mom would have told me he was sneaking off somewhere. And he calls me obvious! Humph."

"You are obvious. Your entire family except for Matthew is obvious. They all need to learn to be more passive aggressive," Ludwig commented, looking away from the blonde.

"Hey!" Alfred whined but got distracted by the frogs. Arthur and Francis were smacking their flippers against the glass in protest. "You have odd animals..."

"That's what I've been saying," Ludwig muttered, pulling a face that said he was rather concerned.

"So? They're special - like me!" Feliciano stated cheerfully. All the aquatic animals paused, debating whether they thought it was funny or if they were offended.

"I...don't doubt it," Ludwig admitted with a slight shake of his head. "Alright, can we tick off who's missing? Basch will want to know."

"Yeah, good idea," Alfred agreed and Feliciano nodded. "So Arthur and Francis are missing. Lukas says that Tino and Berwald are missing too."

"Lovino and Antonio are gone," Feliciano piped up.

Ludwig paused. "Odd group. I hope for the sake of everyone that they didn't run off together." Arthur and Lovino were definitely offended by this. "Let's go talk to Basch." He walked out with Feliciano skipping along behind him.

Alfred stood in front of the tank and peered inside. "You're not normal, that much is certain. What's wrong with you exactly, I don't know. But I don't trust any of you." Then he stood up and smiled. "Don't kill Feliciano in his sleep. He's a good kid." Then he ran off to catch up with the other two.

The tank was silent for several minutes. "You're son is an idiot," Lovino finally declared.

"I usually blame Arthur because he raised him," Francis said with a shrug.

Arthur hit him over the head. "I HATE YOU!" And this started a very enthusiastic fight between the two of them.

"Now that that's taken care of, what now?" Tino inquired. Berwald, Antonio, and Lovino all looked at him. "They're getting Basch involved. At this point, if we change back in the middle of the night… It'll be six naked men who had been thought to be missing in Feliciano's room."

"Good point…" Lovino muttered, looking distinctly uncomfortable – which was hilarious to see on a fish. "Arthur, you need to _do _something!"

Arthur swam over to the others, followed by Francis who was still very obviously pissed. "I don't have my wand," Arthur replied miserably. "I can't do anything without my wand… But if the other parts of the spell still work, it should wear off in another week."

"A _WEEK_?" Lovino shrieked, horrified. Francis started swearing rapidly in French. "Are you ever going to tell us what we even did?"

Arthur considered this briefly. "Probably not." Lovino dashed at him but he jumped up; Lovino barely managed not to hit the glass.

"Have I told you 'I hate you' lately?" Lovino grumbled.

"I believe so…" Arthur mumbled noncommittally.

"If you're so uncertain, then I haven't said it enough," Lovino retorted moodily. "Another week locked in this tank with all of you idiots…"

"Lovino!" Antonio gasped, wounded.

"Except you!" Lovino corrected quickly. Antonio looked much happier, albeit smug.

"Well, not like we can do much…" Berwald muttered, staring out of the tank.

"So…" Tino started hesitantly. "What are we going to do until it wears off?"

"Better question, I think…What are we going to do _when _it wears off?" Antonio asked worriedly.

Everyone was silent. "I suppose we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there…" Francis finally sighed. "Oh, and Lovino? Just to let you know, they definitely saw _you_." Lovino made a face at him.

* * *

"Okay, I'm starving," Tino deadpanned, jumping to the top of the tank hopefully and diving when he was disappointed. "When is Feliciano going to get up?"

"It's a Saturday, right?" Lovino asked and Arthur started counting. When he nodded, Lovino continued, "Then he'll get up whenever he feels like it. Usually noon. Remember last Saturday?" He sounded bored.

Tino groaned dramatically. "Yes. And that's forever from now!" Berwald quietly agreed. "What are we going to do?"

"We _could _start acting like normal aquatic animals," Arthur suggested but he didn't look like he thought highly of this.

"I have too much of a personality to pull it off!" Antonio said brightly. "Besides, that's really boring. And what good will that do us when we change back anyway?"

"It's still dark out…" Francis reminded them (Arthur) suggestively before he started chirping. It took several minutes before the others realized that he wasn't the only one chirping. Their first thought was that Arthur had finally given in.

They all looked at him. "It's _NOT _me!" he cried defensively.

And that's when they noticed Berwald hugging Tino at the back of the tank. Tino didn't look perturbed at all. Lovino started freaking out, shouting about "lack of privacy", before he hit the glass. He backed up, looking dazed. "The…the glass… it's reflective. I never know where I am…" he mumbled.

"Uh-huh," Arthur muttered sarcastically. Lovino gained enough sense back to smack him with his back fins. Rubbing his face, he said, "Another six days… I'm terrified."

"Well, if you just give Francis what he wanted, you'd have something to do constantly," Lovino pointed out casually.

"I _refuse_!" he screamed angrily. But he didn't look certain. Lovino started laughing until something in his stomach started to quiver.

"Do those little worm things…I thought I'd have digested them by now," Francis commented, pausing in his chirping. Arthur blanched. Tino let out a yelp and the next thing they knew, they broke the tank and all tumbled out onto the ground; Feliciano screamed. Lovino and Antonio were squashed under Arthur who was unhappy with Francis who had landed on top of him. Berwald was still hugging Tino but looked confused.

"This is an experience I hope to never repeat…" Arthur muttered under his breath. Lovino, who had just realized he had limbs again, reached up and smacked him atop his head. "Ouch, you brat!"

Berwald let go of Tino and they stood up. "Oh, I'm sorry we scared you, Feliciano!" Tino declared and then paused. "Um…Can we have some towels, please?"

Feliciano stared at him before jumping up and running out of his room. He returned shortly with towels for them all and by that time, the other four had untangled themselves and were standing up. "Er, how did you all end up in my fish tank?"

"We were your fish!" Lovino shouted, irritated as he wrapped his towel around his waist. "And that _wurst_ you tried to feed us… I knew you wouldn't remember that we couldn't eat human food. It's a good thing we weren't as stupid as real fish!" Arthur and Francis looked at him skeptically.

Feliciano thought about this for a moment. "Okay. So how did you get turned into fish and frogs?"

They all looked at Arthur accusingly. "Alright, alright. I was mad at Antonio and Francis. I decided to turn them into frogs for two weeks. But Lovino was attached to Antonio and Berwald and Tino passed by and the spell got mixed up and we ended up being the pets you owned for a week."

"Oh! So this must be yours!" Feliciano cried, going to his bedside table. He pulled his drawer out and handed Arthur his wand.

Arthur took it happily. "Why didn't I see you bring it in?"

"It was smaller. I didn't think about it; it was just cute," he replied airily. Lovino growled.

"Got anymore questions for us?" Tino asked brightly, seeming to ignore the awkwardness of their situation.

"Well…" Feliciano started, thinking hard about something. "What was with all those buzzing sounds?"

Francis and Berwald paused, blushing. "We're going to skip that one," Francis answered, smacking Antonio who was snickering under his breath. "It's…I'm very glad you didn't pay much attention, Feliciano."

The little Italian stared at them, thinking this over. "Okay…" he finally said hesitantly. "I'm…I'm going to call some people…" He started to walk out the door to find his phone.

"Wait! Who and why?" Lovino demanded defensively, reaching out to grab his brother's arm.

Feliciano turned to look at him. He had an odd look on his face and he was biting his lower lip. "Well, I was going to start with Alfred and Matthew to come get their parents. And Lukas was worried about Tino so I figured I'd call him. I guess you and Antonio can stay here until tomorrow though."

"Why?" Lovino asked again, making a face.

"He doesn't want us running around town naked," Arthur informed him haughtily. "Thanks, Feliciano. But do _not _tell Alfred what happened."

Feliciano grinned. "I can do that! _You _can tell him about your adventures!" All six of them paled as he walked out.

"We will _never _speak of this!" Lovino hissed, turning on the others. "Not one of us will _ever _breathe a word of this!" They all hastily agreed as Feliciano came back, talking to someone on the phone.

"Nope. I don't know how they got in here. But you should grab Matthew and…" Feliciano trailed off, listening intently. He glanced up at Francis and Arthur who were staring blankly at him. "Um... I don't think so. They don't look it."

Arthur stretched out his hand and Feliciano passed him the phone. "Alfred, do you have to make life so difficult?"

"Why the _heck _are you and Dad naked, wet and standing in the middle of Feliciano's room?" his son cried, the direction of his thoughts very obvious in that one question.

"Don't ask _that_!" Arthur screamed, blushing madly. "Just get over here with your brother!"

"But…" Alfred whined, confused.

"I don't have to explain _anything_ to you!" he snapped and closed the phone, handing it back to Feliciano. He started mumbling about disrespect, the blush not quite faded off his face. Francis and Antonio were snickering happily, coughing when he glared at them.

Feliciano wasted no time in calling Lukas to tell him that he needed to come pick up Tino and Berwald. The conversation between them seemed to go about the same as it had with Alfred. Antonio and Francis were very much amused by this. "Okay. Um... Well, I guess I have to find you and Antonio clothes of sorts..." he said after he hung up, looking uncertainly at Antonio.

Lovino looked at his boyfriend. "Good luck."

Just then, there was a rapid knock on Feliciano's front door. They all wandered out, stopping in the hall except for the homeowner who opened the door to let in a frantic Alfred and a somewhat concerned-looking Matthew. "Where are my parents?" Matthew asked calmly before Alfred could say anything. Francis and Arthur stepped out; amused and scowling respectively. "What were you guys doing?" he ventured hesitantly, probably scared of his mom's expression.

"None of your business. I just want to go home..." Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's been a long week, okay? I'm tired. I want to go to bed..."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure. Well, don't stand there. If you're so tired, let's..."

But he got cut off as Lukas walked in, completely forgetting to knock. "Tino?" Tino raised his hand as he stepped out, followed by Berwald. "Why...Why are you guys all wet?"

"Don't ask..." Berwald muttered, looking thoroughly annoyed.

Lukas stared at him and then nodded. "I don't want to know anyway. Let's just... get you guys home." He shook his head, as if trying to dislodge some sort of image he didn't want in there. This actually was probably the case. "Come on..." He glanced at their towels but didn't say anything else as the two followed him out.

"Thanks for getting us a ride, Feliciano!" Tino called as Berwald dragged him out the door. He clutched at his towel hurriedly.

"Bye, Tino!" Feliciano replied happily. Then he turned to Arthur and Francis. "Thanks for stopping by. I'll call Basch tomorrow morning and let him know you guys are all safe."

This sent Arthur into a slight panic. He hurried over to the Italian and whispered something in his ear. "Understand?" he asked threateningly when he was finished whispering. Feliciano thought about this and then nodded. "Good. Well, thank-you, Feliciano. Goodbye."

Feliciano stood there for a moment before grinning. "Okay. Hope you get home safe this time!"

Arthur slapped his hand to his forehead. "You know...This just will _not _end well..." he muttered as he followed his sons out the door. Francis muttered what sounded like an agreement in French.

"So, you're really not going to tell us what happened?" Alfred asked in a rather whiney voice.

"Not tonight. If things go the way I think they will tomorrow, I might have some explaining..." He paused and looked down at his hands. "Wait. Where's my wand?"

"Are you serious?" Francis cried incredulously.

Arthur sprinted back to the house and started pounding on the door frantically. Lovino opened it, holding his wand smugly. He leaned against the doorframe casually. "Did you forget something,_idiota_?"

"Can I please have that back?" Arthur inquired, almost begged because he had a feeling what the answer would end up being.

"Yeah...If you tell me why you turned me into a fish," Lovino hissed, twirling the wand in his hand. "I won't accept 'because' either."

Arthur scowled at him. "Well...It...It was because...Well, it was meant more for Antonio and Francis. You just happened to be standing there with your boyfriend." Lovino blinked and caught the wand before it fell. It was obviously not what he'd been expecting. "I was mad because Francis and Antonio..." Arthur was blushing now. "They...They were making jokes about why I was so pissy the week before. They joked about how I was on my period." He was _pouting._

Lovino stared at him blankly. "_That _is why I got turned into a fish?" he screamed and Arthur wanted so badly to disappear. "For a _week_? In the same tank as _you_ and...those Nordic_ freaks_?"

"So much for not letting anyone know our story..." Francis muttered sarcastically from behind them. He heard snickers from assumingly Alfred.

"Well, it was technically Antonio's fault..." Arthur muttered, knowing it wouldn't help his case any. "Now, give me my wand!"

Lovino considered this for a minute and then tucked his arm behind his back. "I don't know if I can trust you with it..."

"Are you serious?" Arthur asked, rolling his eyes. "Sorry that I wanted revenge on my idiotic ex."

"And my boyfriend," Lovino reminded him and Arthur kind of regretted his words. "Yeah, well, you obviously can't do magic right."

"It's all Ivan's fault!" Arthur cried, ticked. He found himself pouting despite himself. "Give me my wand! You said I could have it!"

"Yeah, okay," he finally agreed and shoved it into his hands. "I don't want it anyway. But don't go turning people into frogs anymore or I'll snap that thing in half so fast, you won't know what happened to it."

Arthur stared at him for a moment until he was sure he was serious. "Okay." Secretly, he didn't regret turning Lovino into a fish. Not that the Italian had taken anything from the experience but it would be entertaining enough to think about in the future when Francis pissed him off. He would think about what had happened and he could imagine that he'd be laughing instead of yelling in the end. Smiling serenely, he turned his back on Lovino. "Good night."

"Good riddance," Lovino huffed and slammed the door as he walked off.

"Can we go now?" Alfred inquired, obviously amused. Arthur smacked him upside the head as he went to the car. "So, you turned Tino, Berwald, Antonio, Lovino, Dad, and yourself into fish?"

"I was a frog," Francis corrected, somewhat smugly.

"Can we just _not _talk about it?" Arthur demanded angrily as he buckled himself in. "I just want to go to bed and forget the last week."

"Good luck with that," Matthew replied almost sympathetically. Arthur knew why. Alfred had a big mouth, as did Feliciano. Oh, _why _had Feliciano been the one to find them? The answer was almost instantaneous: _because no one else would have cared_. He put his face in his hands and muttered curses to himself. He had a feeling that his wand would be put into a drawer and not pulled back out for a _very _long time...


End file.
